03 Aug 2015 Why Is It So Difficult To Let Go?
A world apart, the bushman of Africa and the villagers of Southern Thailand have both learned how to trap a monkey, taking advantage of the monkey’s unrelenting determination not to let go, even if it means compromising its freedom.
And in that respect, we humans behave in much the same way. So why is it so difficult for us to let go of the gripping swirling thoughts that often make us so miserable?
Watch this fascinating bushman video, then read on to explore the neuroscience and our recommendations for training your mind to let go more easily.
The Science:
In the past 20 years, neuroscientists have discovered the brain system responsible for the proliferation of thoughts which occurs when the mind is not actively engaged in a specific task such as solving a puzzle or reading a book. They call it the Default Mode Brain Network (DMN) and it is responsible for contemplating, planning for, or worrying about the future, ruminating about the past, and passing judgment about the present moment.
Sometimes this “mind chatter” is neutral or even positive in nature, but it can often be negative – provoking anxiety about the future, sadness or anger about the past, and complaints about our present life circumstances. Once these negative thoughts start swirling in our “head”, they often proliferate and hijack our mind.
The trouble is that it is very difficult to extinguish this emotionally charged mental fire, which can make us increasingly miserable. If only we could let go of these overpowering thoughts, life would be much easier, calmer, and more productive.
Our Recommendations:
If you are intent on cultivating your ability to let go of your unwanted mental chatter, we recommend two very effective interventions:
1. Mindfulness Meditation. This has been shown by researchers to increase our capacity to regulate our emotional system and to dampen the activities of the Default Mode Network.
Below are two free Mindfulness Meditation programs to get you started:
Jon Kabat-Zinn – Palouse Mindfulness
UCLA MARC Centre – MARC Centre
2. Willpower-based Emotional Regulation. You can train your brain to let go of unwanted mind chatter by doing simple “mental diversion” exercises. Choose a pleasurable thought of a loved one or a pleasurable vacation scene. Whenever an unwanted thought emerges, divert your attention to your pleasurable thought. Over time you will gain more control over your brain’s Default Mode Network activity.
